kidsareshits:

My dearest,

I know you’re probably surprised to hear from me, but there are some things we need to talk about. Even though you dumped me for some cheap, two-dollar whore, I still love you very much. There is a slight problem that has come up since our break up. It has come to my attention that your seed is dividing deep inside my womb. That seed will one day become our baby. All of our nights of passionate erotic love-making is finally productive. I expect you to pay for all that you have done. This is your fault! And you’re going to pay for it! 

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